People can tell how much I like guys by how smiley I am thinking about them. Joey has that. He called tonight and we talked for a long time about everything and nothing. Now, hours later, I still have a huge grin. It's been a while since I've had a guy that can do that for me. Scott had it, Brendan sort of has it and I think it could get worse, but I'm like a lovesick schoolgirl when it comes to Joey. He says he misses me and he's looking forward to seeing me this weekend, and I just lose all mental stability. Plus, someone is smiling down on me and Joey has quit one of his jobs, which means that he'll have a night off that I'm there. How do I lose 20lbs. in two days? Yikes! I'm starting to get tired of not having a job. I'm meant to live a frivolous life, not this jazz. I'm sorry Chris, I talked about guys again. I think I'm obsessed.

Hmmm... What's new with me. Well, things got a lot better with JJ, I went to his place last night and we just sat and talked for hours. Things are going relatively well, but I have a few concerns. It's definately nothing serious yet. Brendan called Kelly to ask about me, he's interested. Not sure if I'm going to do anything though, seeing as how he's one of Kelly's close friends. Maybe. Heading up to Ottawa this weekend with Carol, which should cause the usual havoc and mayhem. Hopefully, we'll find a nice apartment in the intermissions from drinking. And y'know what this means... Joey! *Toothy grin!!!* Alas, if only he were a little bit more intelligent. That's my guy report, condensed for Chris' benefit! In other news, I've been babysitting for the past two days for an 8 month old baby and a 2 year old. Not just babysitting, I'm talking like twelve hours a day. I'm exhausted. I'm covering for my cousin who's on vacation since it pays so well and the kids are adorable, but as I told Kelly, it reinforces the idea that I'm completely not ready to have children. Don't get me wrong, I'm great with them, I just don't want them for another ten decades or so. I've been on my best behaviour, haven't gotten loaded since that incident in Toronto. I'm practically a nun! (In more ways than one!)

Everything is just dust and sound...

So Chris and I had this discussion today about why I'm dysfunctional. I've come to the conclusion that it is I and not my relationships that is dysfunctional. Careful case study has come to this conclusion time and time again. Chris' theory is that in my search for perfection, I need a ton of guys because each of them has an element of perfection and together they are the perfect guy. True enough, but I went out with Josh for a long time knowing that he's far from perfect. Had an extremely strange night at JJ's the day before yesterday, I'm not going to go into it because I don't quite get it myself. Went up to Barrie last night with Kelly. Brendan is absolutely adorable. He got hit on at the bar non-stop by this creepy looking guy and I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time. He looked sooo uncomfortable and it was hysterical because the guy couldn't care less about Kelly or I. Kelly was trying to teach this really funny guy how to cha-cha, and I was just laughing at everyone on the dance floor and at Brendan. Sorry, Chris told me I have to stop talking about guys on this thing. My car repairs cost me 300$ and I am flat broke. Sponsor me.

I fell asleep this afternoon and woke up crying... I had this really strange rape-type dream with a bunch of people I know in it, as well as Angelina Jolie. Any explanations? It has put me in a pretty blah mood though.

If seeing is believing, then make me blind. I've seen enough, and I don't want to believe anymore.

If you look up, do you see the stars?
If you look down, do you see the grass?
If you look in the mirror, do you see beauty?

Boy hatin'...

Things that are currently wrong with my car:
-Rear left blinker not working. Perhaps that explains why people kept honking at me in Toronto. Hmm.
-Headlights. That's right, my friggin' HEADLIGHTS do not work.
-In the words of my mother, one of my rear tires is "wonky". Grrreat.
And did I mention that I am BROKE? Someone help me!

Perhaps now would be the time to mention that Salfaraz wants us to live with him. Yikes!

So I'm officially living with Carol next year. Which is kind of scary! Not scary like, "I'm scared to live with Carol". Well, in a way yes. Just the two of us. At least this year there were five other girls so that things could kind of... diffuse. Originally, I was going to live with Carol and Katie. Katie's cool and laid back but she can get emotional and a bit hard to handle when she's been drinking. Carol's music and mood swings can drive me insane. She's either really really up or really really down. Then I got wrapped up in the sorority thing and was going to live with Lacey and Steph, my pledge sisters. If we could make it through that, we could make it through anything. But as much as I love them, they can also get annoying. Both are heavy smokers with a different point of view on many things and I think it may be just too much sorority for me to handle. With Carol, I'll be living with someone from my program, someone from Toronto. Her and I have gotten close this summer primarily because we live fairly close together. She knows me really well from living with me first year and her and I hit it off from the beginning of last year because we seem to have the same values. We will be living with her rat of a dog, Pepper, and judging by the insane times that we also have together, I hope it will be fun. If I can remain sane, all will be well.

P.S. Yusuf has not called once since Kelly took the phone while I was talking to him. She tried to explain to him the concept of restraining order and I think something in her yelling worked. Yahoo!

Mmm... Went over to JJ's last night, met a couple of his friends. Interesting characters to say the least! Heading down to Richmond Hill for a bit today and then maybe to Barrie at night with Kelly. I think I'm going to try to get out of it though, cash flow is very one-sided right now. But Smitty will be there... Very tempting. Tomorrow night I think I'm going to go to JJ's again. I actually enjoy him, but I've only seen him once without having other people around. Not that there's anything wrong with that, they're fun people, but you know what I mean? "Just close your eyes..." Dropped my cousins off in Toronto yesterday too so the house is a bit more quiet. My mother was so paranoid about me driving them because I was being an absolute klutz all day. Mmm. Better get my day started. Linz, if you're reading this and you're back home, call me!

Hope you enjoyed the intermission. Anyways, Dave lives in the apartment with Bart who's a quiet Polish guy and Joe who's a loud Pakistani and who we'd already met at the Guvernment. We stayed over there and drank for a while, Joe had a bunch of his friends over. Shots, shots and more shots. Beer, beer and more beer. Drunk, drunk and more drunk. We finally went over to this place called The Devil's Martini which was this really ritzy expensive loungy clubby bar. It was a lot of fun, plenty of hot guys and all. Carol was being loud and drunk all night and her and Dave hit it off, in between mocking his vintage shirts. Bart was into me but I wasn't really feeling it so I hit on all of Joe's friends. Many a Jenna sandwich. Good fun, I got wasted and wasn't buying anything. Carol was making out with Dave (which was totally cool with me) while wishing that she was with the other hot guys there. We left there pretty late and hit McDonald's on the way back, this part is really blurry because I was completely blacked out. Apparently I was being a drunken whore. Go figure. Carol and I were about to get a taxi and head back to her place when Joe gave me a special invitation to go back to his place. Being drunk and being a whore, and having not made out with anybody yet that evening, I agreed. Got the grand tour of his bedroom. He's pretty hot but something clicked in my drunken mind that it wasn't a good idea since I really didn't know him at all, so I gathered myself and headed out. Carol was passed out spooning with Dave. Got back to her place around 6 or so and got back home when I was sober enough to drive. Highlights of the evening included Carol to Dave "Oh, you're from Switzerland? Do you speak Swedish" or her pointing at a convenience store and going "Oh, a gum machine!". Oh Carol. She is also in possession of Dave's watch; I'm turning her into a klepto like me! Fun night, dead cheap since the boys were determined to get us drunk. I have to start friggin' watching myself though, I'm going to get myself into trouble. I think I'm doing something with JJ tonight to continue the weekend of love, haha! I have to start behaving myself... Tuesday night is Barrie again, dear lord.

I think it would be in my best interest never to drink again. Yes, last night was that good. I spent the day shopping in Richmond Hill with my cousins than headed over to Carol's in Toronto. We polished off a ridiculous amount of alcohol and then went over to Dave's apartment. Wow. That is the nicest place I have ever seen that doesn't have a woman living there. Three guys and the place is not only clean, but is very Ikea, color coordinated and very classy. Mad impressed. So it turns out that Dave doesn't look as good as the last time I saw him when I was sloshed.

Some nights I'm just plain old lucky. Went up to Barrie with Kelly and Brendan as mentioned. Got a hold of one of David's friends and called him. He was mad impressed that I was going up to Barrie, that's where he's from. Bonding ensues. End result: we're going out tonight. Beautiful. That would have been enough to cheer me up for the night, but no. I get to meet Kelly's gorgeous yet braindead ex at a pool hall and we head out to The Queens, small town bar. So we're waiting for her friends when we simultaneously claw each other and have a heart attack. Who should be at this bar but Ryan Smith. Smitty was one of the older hunks in high school that I drooled over every single day. We build our confidence and go for the kill. All goes well, too well. Unfortunately, we have to leave for another bar even though they try to convince us to stay longer. We give Smitty Kelly's cell number so that he can get a hold of us. He promises to call this week. This sends Kelly into a supersmiley tizzy. Next up was 55 Special, a certified cougar bar. Take tequila shots with Kelly's ex. Get picked up by men much older than my father. Yech. Spend a lot of time laughing with Brendan, he's hysterical. Kelly picks up a bouncer fresh off the boat from Australia and gives him her number. We leave and stop at a McDonald's on the side of the highway for late late night snacks. Who should be there but Dave. Dave was by far the best looking guy in residence at Carleton. Possibly the best looking guy in first year at Carleton. Balls to the wall, I get his phone number. He says I should call him the next time I'm in Barrie so that we can go out. Give Brendan my phone number on my way out the truck. VERY productive night!!

Alright here's an update on the last week or so.
-Went to Font Hill on Saturday afternoon for the wedding with Chris. He lives way out in the sticks, he really wasn't kidding! Had a good time, got to meet his zillion and two cousins and went to my first Catholic Mass. Basically I just copied whatever Chris was doing but I nearly lost it when that kneeling bench thing popped out of the pew and I was totally confused. I think I did okay with his parents, and the rest of his family for that matter. His cousin calls us on the fact that we're just friends. We leave late night and make out until the wee hours of the morning. We drove back to my place early Sunday morning.
-Picked up Carol Sunday afternoon and the three of us heading up to Ottawa. Poor Chris. Poor, poor Chris. It was four an a half hours of girl talk basically and pop music. Although he slept for most of the friggin' way! We got up there and went to Barrymore's. Jake, Derek, Joe and Saleem were there. Had some fun trying to get Jake to dance with the transvestite. No luck. I really really enjoyed Derek, he's a lot of fun and much to my delight, he can dance! However after a few hours Carol got bored with the music so...
-Off to OnTap! Things got sketchy here. I was basically a drunken whore, enough said, haha! I made out with like 3 or 4 guys there. There was Machmed (sp?) (Nick: Scary) who was cute but kept biting my shoulder incredibly hard. And then there was Wes (Nick: The Fat One) who was a totally awesome guy and we were having fun. And then Yusuf (Nick: ODB, Scary Friend, Creepy) who must have been like 35 at least and who bought me well over a dozen beers that he kept holding up to my face for me to chug. Needless to say I got wasted, things got sloppy. So I started handing out the beers he was buying me to the other guys I was dancing with and he wouldn't friggin' leave me alone. Arguements between the guys soon ensued with me making the rounds with all three of them and lord knows who else. Finally, at the end of the night, after handing out my number to all of those involved, Carol's Bad Nick (yes, as opposed to Good Nick) rescued me. (By the way, he's hot!!!). Then Carol and I got in a car with two random black guys that I thought were friends of Nick's but turned out to be strangers...
-Off to Timmy Ho's we went for some late late late night snacks. Amazingly the boys didn't rape or attack us and we made it back to where we were staying (Kelly's apartment) in one piece.
-So, as if I haven't caused enough chaos for one night, I call Joey. He comes over and well y'know... He is so unbelievably hot. I know you're all sick of me saying that but he is even more hot now. He cannot possibly get better looking. He has a friggin' fully defined SIX PACK. And don't get me started on his biceps... Or his pecs... I'm drooling just thinking about it. He left and then...
-I hear Carol retching. She proceeds to puke for a few hours while I pass out unconcious.
-The next day I'm woken up by a phone call. It's a guy, good news. It's a foreign guy with a strong accent, even better news. It's Yusuf. Horrible news. He proceeds to call me every two hours. I stand him up on dates, I explain that I live in Toronto. All to no avail. Carol finally wakes up and we decide to go out for a nice lunch. I get lost for 45 minutes after a street is closed because of the pouring rain. Maps get broken out.
-The guys that drove us start calling and Yusuf keeps calling to tell me how much he cares. Lordy. I drop Carol off at Nick's place, pick up Chris, get rid of Allie and Marnie, and then go to the Chili Peppers concert. I lose my favorite earring here.
-We're right up against the bar in the front. Amazing concert. Bastard security guard is in front of me and doesn't allow cameras so pictures are taken top secret FBI papparazzi styles. I rock. Queens of the Stone Age were awesome live and the Peppers sounded better live than on the CD if that's possible. Flea was right in front of us and there were some awesome guitar solos. Also, during Queens of the Stone Age, Chad (Chili Peppers drummer) is standing a meter in front of us enjoying the show. For the record, Mars Volta sucked and so did the ugly topless girl with the body paint who was standing beside us.
-We head out of the concert and run into Brodie! With him unfortunately comes Allie and Marnie and we went to his illegally parked car to see Jon Jon and Brodie's much previously mentioned friend from Montreal. We head home where my headlights burn out right on the friggin' highway and I start panicking. On to Mc D's and then back to the apartment. Y'all should know the drill by now...
-I call Joey up. We head out to the airport to... bond. Haha! We ran over a spitting animal with his car, hahahaha! See if you can figure that one out. He looks so so so amazing. It really sucked to say goodbye to him because I don't know when I'm going up there next. I can't get over him, he's just too gorgeous and he's mine. MINE! MINE! Sorry, I enjoy that. So he left and I went and moped on Chris for a while and then we passed out. To be woken up by, wild guess here...
-YUSUF! It turns out that good ol' Yusuf is in love with me. Go figure. Chris and I pack up really fast, go and pick up Carol, and head off in the pouring rain. First stop was in Gananoque and then we stop in Port Hope to drop something off for my cousins at their private school. We get incredibly lost and end up with a janitor breaking into their room for us. Drop Carol off in Toronto, drop Chris off in Richmond Hill, and make it home after a six and a half hour drive. Lordy. By this point I'm exhausted, bear in mind my romp with Joey in the wee hours of the morning so when I come online and JJ's online, I decide to go over there.
-We head out to the movies, Joey had told me that 'Identity' was good (it was really nothing special) and then back to his place. Yusuf calls frequently while I patiently explain that I do not live in Ottawa. He text messages me declaring his undying love and offers to come to Toronto, whenever I want. Wes (The Fat One) calls also, he's cool about it. After talking for a while he finally works up the nerve to kiss me (he's a shy one) and we end up making out until about 4am. I head out, get lost on the way home by taking the DVP South instead of North, I swear the signs were messed up! So I take Yonge all the way home with takes an extra hour, get home past 5am where my mother is waiting up for me, paranoid. Smooth things over with her and then pass out.
-Spend all of Wednesday recovering from my weekend. Go to Hillcrest Mall with Kelly to get away from my parents nagging me to get a job. Yusuf calls continously declaring his love and how much he misses me. Ethien (Nick: Tony, E.T., Frenchy) calls to tell me that his life is boring without me and how much he misses me. Lordy.
-Thursday I spend the day trying to make plans with Linz. I call David's friend to leave a message for David and drop the phone at the end. Battery falls out. Do not know if message went through. Am paranoid that psychotic swearing got left on the machine. We finally head down to JJ's at night, watch 'Trainspotting' there. Get helluva confused about TV monitors. Diagrams are of no assistance. Linz and I go hysterical, JJ looks frightened. Yusuf calls to ask if I will be in Ottawa tomorrow. Try patiently to explain. We head out in the morning.
-Wake up to a phone call from Yusuf. He wants to talk. He has left about 30 messages on my cell phone. Finally flip and tell him that he's creepy and that I shall never ever ever return again to Ottawa as long as I shall live. He asks me if I'll be there next week. He asks me if he can come to Toronto next week. Patience is wearing thin. I am still trying to figure out what language he speaks with the thought that perhaps I will have better luck in his native tongue. I go over to Linz's for a "job interview" to get away from my parents. And now back at home. My cousins should be here any minute, they're here for the weekend.
-Heading out to Barrie tonight with Kelly. Either that, or going to the Sean Paul and Snow concert with my cousins, because it turns out they went to school with Sean Paul. Yes, my cousins know Sean Paul and I do not, what is wrong with this?! Tomorrow, going shopping on Queen Street with my cousins. Hopefully heading out to Guvernment with David and Carol at night. Hopefully see JJ at some point on the weekend and Omar too. Must try to get rid of Yusuf.

I lay in the field, the one attached to all of the memories. I'm embedded in dust while looking up; counting each and every leaf that falls from the tree above me. I have forgotten the city styles, loves, pressures. I only live for me. I look up to the sky, I can smell the rain. Everything gets calm and quiet. Peace and isolation... My only combination for now. Lacking inspiration, I write. The whispers of music behind me carry me on, unafraid of coldness and nostalgia a million miles away in front of me. I take the easiest trail to forget. But everything stays the same. I long for old summer days, ones where I could open my window and breath beautiful translucent air. Youth that I will never have again sticks with me like an perfume. A day to remember for a lifetime. One season for eternity.

Longest I've slept in in a long time... Went the past two nights with Linz and her Jeff (haha, I like the "her Jeff") to their friend JJ's place in Toronto getting stoned. Had some fun with the new 2003 technology, haha! JJ seems like a nice guy, cute... Busy friggin' day today (that's why I'm procrastinating and doing this instead!). I leave early tomorrow for the hairdressers and to Font Hill for the wedding, hopefully drive home tomorrow night and then head up to Ottawa on Sunday. Monday night is the Chili Peppers concert and then head home Tuesday. I just realized that next weekend is the long weekend and I'm doing absolutely nothing for it. Ah well, hit a bar or something. Do do do, I have nothing interesting or witty to say so I'm going to go and make sweet sweet love with a bagel.

Soooo PMS-y.... Blargh. Spent like half an hour trying to dig my Midol out of the boxes that I am living out of in the garage. Nearly cried watching friggin' MOESHA wtf... Aight, stop laughing at me!

I nicked this list from VitaminQ (http://vitaminq.blogspot.com) but it's quite a good one.

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."

2. " I got a good woman (or man)" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line, like "I got a good man, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ... sort of: "Got a good woman - with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher - and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys and Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St.Louis, and Kansas City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot and sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a highway
b jailhouse
c empty bed
d bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places:
a Ashrams
b gallery openings
c Ivy League institutions
d golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a you're older than dirt
b you're blind
c you shot a man in Memphis
d you can't be satisfied

No, if:
a you have all your teeth
b you were once blind but now can see
c the man in Memphis lived.
d you have a retirement plan or trust fund.

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a wine
b whiskey or bourbon
c muddy water
d black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a mixed drinks
b kosher wine
c Snapple
d sparkling water

15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a Sadie
b Big Mama
c Bessie
d Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a Joe
b Willie
c Little Willie
d Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, Auburn, and Rainbow can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name (starter kit):
a name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi,etc.)
c last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. I don't care how tragic your life is: you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.

*Victory dance!* So David called last night and he appears to be perfect. Honestly, usually in a situation like this I'd be nervous and blanking out. Easy conversation, relaxed, interesting. Great guy! He's 22, lives downtown (not homeless like previously guessed), graduated Sheridan College and works in animation. Did I mention that he's cute? And he didn't even realize how drunk I was on Saturday, hehe! Unfortunately, very unfortunately that is, we can't get together until next week because we're both busy. But I'll be damned if I never see him again! Haha, I was talking to Chris the other day and was like "Chris, I really like this one!" and he goes "Yeah, until the next one comes along!". Which, granted is quite true. Looking forward to Joey this weekend, although (too much information), THE WORLD HATES ME AND IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH, GRGRGRGRGRGR!!!! Have to find something to wear to the wedding I'm going to with Chris on Saturday, I'm thinking like a baboushka or a muumuu.

Hmm. No answer.

Hmmm... *Toothy grin!* So the guy from the Guvernment, David, called Carol to get in touch with me. Impressive for numerous reasons. Among them the fact that he remembered my name, he remembered Carol's name, and he amazingly enough remembered her cell phone number which I don't even know. So now I'm supposed to call him. Eee... I didn't think there was any way he'd remember the number. Details to follow.

How do you get free beer? Just wait until a random stranger orders and pays for one and then grab it and walk away. Worked for me! Carol and I went to the Guvernment after doing vodka shots at her place and loudly discussing our sex life on the subway. Well, it took us a while to get there because we were being indecisive as usual and Carol was stopping taxi cabs to ask them if they knew where Ice Pick/Box/Tea/Tray/Cube was. We wandered downtown with Carol insisting that if we found the Westin Harbour Castle, she'd know where to go. This ended up with us at the base of the hotel with her on the phone going "Do I go away or towards the ocean?" There is no ocean in Toronto, Carol... Haha! Guvernment was awesome, we had sooo much fun! Made out with a boy, do believe his name was Jacob, sooo hot! First boy of the summer for me, and extremely cute at that! Hopefully this is a sign of the summer to come! Really really really enjoyed him. We left there around 5am after dancing for hours on end and went to her place to mow some pizza. I passed out before she started puking. I have to do things like this more often, it's the only way I'm going to survive the summer. I'm going up to Ottawa in two weeks for the Chili Peppers concert with Chris. Looking forward to it and dieing to see Joey. A guy on the subway kinda looked like him yesterday and I couldn't stop staring. We're in this perfect non-commited relationship right now. I just wish he was closer, I miss him.

Hmm... Just got back in from the bar in Barrie with Kelly. Interesting night at "Fitzy's" (as the stamp says on my hand). Not sure if the Barrie bar scene is my thing. Her friends up there that I met were all really cool, great to meet new people and one was particularily interesting. (He reads Vonnegut and lives in Barrie? Huh?) I think a few of those guys are coming down here to go to the bar tomorrow, well, technically today. I'm living out of plastic bins and going insane, I can't find anything because everything is in the garage. Need to unpack urgently! Went to a SARSrific Chinese restaurant for dinner, good times. At least it's not busy there, haha! I'm not afraid of Chinese SARS, I'm afraid of Chinese drivers.