Back home again... Exhausted. So much travel in so little time! At least I got to hit Abercrombie... Alright I don't feel like updating, I'll go more in depth later.

Ciao to Toronto and Newmarket... Here's the timeline, if any of you need to get a hold of me:
-Monday, August 25 - Noonish - Head to Ottawa
-Wednesday, August 27 - 9 p.m. - Fly to Toronto
-Wednesday, August 27 - 11:30 p.m. - Back home in Newmarket
-Thursday, August 28 - 10:15 a.m. - Fly to Miami
-Saturday, August 30 - 4 p.m. - Fly to Toronto
-Sunday, August 31 - 11 a.m. - Fly back to Ottawa

So I'm only spending two days in the new place before I go down to Miami for a bit, rock! If you need me, who knows how long before I get my Net going, so call my cell. Carol will have it while I'm gone.

Leaving home again... A lot easier this year than it was last year!

you can't put your arms around a memory

Subject: I feel like testicles.

Jon,

*Groan* I have had the most horrid day. I feel like le sack de dump. I went to Duncan's last night with Carol. It's a small place in the beaches, tad ghetto. Definately did not feel 100% about leaving my car outside. He had about 15-20 guys over and a girl (yes, one girl). It was fun, his friends are really down to earth. Started drinking. Apparently I have no tolerance anymore, since I'm not drinking daily like I was at University. We headed to the Alpine bar, cougar bar closeby. This is where things start to get blurry. The last thing I remember was taking a shot at the bar with Toothless Todd. That's when it all when to hell. Apparently I left the bar early with him, and when Carol left the bar with Duncan an hour later, we was walking behind them somehow. The two of them had a fun time in the morning filling me in on my night. Yes, I know, 'You know you've had too much to drink when...'

We woke up in the morning and went to McD's and I was fine. But I started feeling hungover and assy in the afternoon. I had Carol drive around 3pm and I was sick at her place. Both of her places, the new one and the old one. Which again freaked her out, because she's never seen me sick and it was so long after drinking. I felt so incredibly ill, and I don't usually get hung over so it's weird. I left her place once I felt alive and came home and passed out for a few hours.

I am never drinking again... again.

I'm done work now, which rocks. Went out to lunch with eveyone there on Thursday and they got me some nice going away gifts. We made up a present (survival kit) for Brooke who's moving to B.C. with her boyfriend. It included such things as a voodoo doll with pins of her boyfriend and pictures of us with speech bubbles 'We told you so!' and crisis numbers for when she gets dumped. Haha, she had a good sense of humour about it.

Also interesting, it turns out one of the neighbours down the hill heard the gunshot when our neighbour killed himself last year. Unnerving. I know that they couldn't have done anything, too late but... It's unsettling somehow. I never figured it out.

Great great great news... Carol and I head to Ottawa on Monday, but Wednesday I'm going to fly back home. Thursday morning my parents and I are catching a flight to Miami to see my grandmother who's up there on vacation. We'll fly home on Saturday and I go back to Ottawa on Sunday. You know how much this means to me, I'm so excited. She claims I haven't seen her in 3 years. She know that my parents will be there, but she thinks I'm not. Awesome. I haven't seen her since she got cancer and it might be silly, but I just have to see her to make sure that she's alright.

Hope everything's awesome on the trip. How many countries so far? Drunken brawls? The time you've been gone so far seems fast, but maybe because it's only been four days. I really really could have used a hug from you today, that's when I missed you the most.

Miss you *insert Rolling Stones song here... with guest star Justin Timberlake of course.*

Love,
Jenna

I miss Jon...

Single again... Well sort of. The most single I've been for two months. No boyfriend on the continent and none lined up. Hmm. Went to surprise Jon at the airport yesterday, poor doll. The surprise worked, he didn't clue in with all of the questions I was asking him. Saw me and started to cry. Poor doll. Had some drinks with his family and then when he went to leave he said goodbye to his family and then me, crying. Poor doll.

I was actually better than I thought I would be. I couldn't do that again. After Josh... The goodbye from Josh was honestly the worst I have ever felt at any given point in my life. I couldn't do another tearful gut-wrenching goodbye. I'll miss him... I really will. You just get so used to having someone around. The goodbye was touching, I didn't think he cared that much. I hope everything works out.

"Saints are sinners who kept going."
-Robert Louis Stevenson

I need an alter ego. No reason. Anyhoo... Went for Thai food with Jon last night and he convinced me to go out with his friends at night. We had a good time, didn't really feel like a going-away thing though. I guess since I know that I'm going to surprise him at the airport this afternoon :) Poor doll! I think he's quite worried about what I'll do while he's gone and how things are going to be when he gets back. Primarily, I think he's a bit disappointed that I don't have more faith in the relationship. Bargh. Debating giving him the link for this blog while he's in Europe so that he can keep updated. That would mean censoring this though, and I'm not into that... Opinions?

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."
-Clementine Paddleford

Wow, I took quite the intermission here! Let's see, first up would be the blackout, in which I spent approximately 4 hours sitting in a chair at work in utter blackness doing nothing. When I left at night with the last counsellor in the office, guided by candlelight, I ran into my mother who was running up and down the dark stairwells (no emergency lights here folks! Emergency lights are for the weak!), screaming my name. Oh, mother. As if things couldn't get better, I came in the next morning as well but as the electronic doors were broken so I had to climb through a series of windows. Good grief! I was fine with the power outage until the phones stopped working in Newmarket. We didn't get power back until Saturday night at 10pm.

Not that I was around, since Jon picked me up (I complained that I didn't have gas) and took me out to a little Italian restaurant downtown named Fieramosca. Really fancy and the food was delicious. Unfortunately we couldn't go for drinks at the Hyatt, or do much else downtown for that matter since everything was closed due to the blackout.

Saturday we came to my place for a while and then he had about 15 people over for a BBQ and out to mod night at Lee's Palace afterwards. Talk about sketchy! It's bad when there's a man in a wheelchair and a man with a biker's hat and spandex short shorts standing outside. It did pick up, and thankfully I had had enough to drink that I was dancing to this undanceable music. Spent my time with Adam (Jon's brother) and Adam's friends mainly. Good times.

Headed home on Sunday since Jon was heading up to Algonquin. Proabbly going down there tonight for dinner, since he leaves on Wednesday. Sort of weird. Don't know what it's going to be like to say goodbye to him. Carol isn't leaving me much time for moping around though, we're going out everyday that weekend.

And I move up to Ottawa on Monday! Excited!!!

Had bad bad day yesterday. Horrid. The pits, if you will. I tried to register for my courses online and had five scheduling errors. Basically, all of my courses were superimposed on each other at the crack of dawn on Monday morning. Thankfully, Carol sorted a bit of it out and I've talked to every single human working at Carleton, and I'm down to one problem. Working on it.

Warned Jon that would be v. grouchy, so we met at Ikea with Carol to finish up some shopping. Nothing cheers me up like Ikea, and nothing seems to annoy me like Jon. I was mega-bitch to him and friendly to Carol, so he knew something was up. He tried to butter me up by taking me to McD's and we ended up talking for a long time about everything. To make a long story short, even though he wants to stay together, we're going to take a break when he's in Europe and then reconvene upon his return. Makes sense, to me at least.

Talked to Sten the other day, she says I haven't changed a bit. Is that a compliment? Cool to catch up with her.

Also talked to Chris on Monday. Everyone always told me how perfect we were for each other and why don't we just hook up. I can't pinpoint the exact reason why we never went out. It wasn't just that I didn't want to ruin the friendship, I may have done that when we started making out. And yes, at the beginning it was that I didn't want a serious relationship, but... I don't know. I shouldn't try to analyze this until I've figured it out myself. I wish I was madly in love with him, I have every reason to be.

Here's how it started, started with a beat, a beat in my head, and it wouldn't go away so I added the bass, the bass was phat...

Ottawa was great. Yes. We ended up moving Carol, Kelly and I up. The 16-foot truck was filled to the brim. Things went fairly smoothly at Kelly's, Warren helped us, and Brodie and Jake were at our place to help. (Thank you boys!) Long and sweaty day, but we got more done than I thought we would.

Jordan picked us up (after looking for us at Abbas Grocery in the pouring rain, haha!) and we headed to Bruce County for fort night. Highlight was when he thought the reverse on the car was broken. He pulled into a parking spot at the LCBO and when he went to leave he started pushing the car and while it was rolling, hopped in. Absolutely hysterical. When they said for, I was expected a tiny little blanket draped over a chair or something. Oh no, when they say fort they mean fort. It was about 20-30 blankets and sheets with a TV room and a champagne room, lava lamps and blacklights, not to mention the kiddie pool outside. Absolutely huge! Newf (Mark), Jordan and Derek had spent three hours assembling this. They cooked us a delicious dinner with grilled shrimp and chicken. We had such a great night, it was hysterical and they put so much effort into it. Very, very impressive. I think the funniest was Newf in the TV fort by himself. You could hear the TV say "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And he answers, "Teen Wolf!". Gold. Or Mark asking Carol "Who the hell would call your cell phone at 8am on a Sunday morning?" and she answers "Jesus.". Cosmo's were killer and so was the company! Greatly appreciated...

And as things were going well enough, Joey is a brand-new person. His telephone phobia has disappeared, and he called me frequently throughout the weekend, even offereing to pick us up from Jordan's. Unfortunately, I was too busy for us to get together, but I will definately see him when I get up there...

No mention of Jon? There is nothing to mention of Jon. I have not talked to him in about 3 or 4 days, he couldn't even be bothered to call me and wish me a safe trip or a good move. Not happy. He's taking me out for a fancy night on Friday so we'll see how it goes. Will probably end up taking a 'break' with him for his two months in Europe. It's really what's best and then we'll see when he comes back. That's right folks, you heard it first, I will be free for two months. Lock up your men!

Strange coincidences, just met the one counsellor in here who I hadn't seen all summer and we were talking about his daughter that also just finished first year at Carleton. Turns out that his daughter and I were best friends in kindergarten. Wow, small world...

It's so exciting to have my own place. It's starting to come together and surprisingly it looks really good! Steph and Lacey will be living directly below me and it looks like it's going to be another excellent year. :) ESPECIALLY as Chris is living so close to me! Haha!

In the O-dot for the weekend, moving my stuff up with Carol and Kelly. If any of ya wanna drop in (free beer for helping us move!), the addy's 311 Bell Street South, Apartment 1106! We know we'll see you there, there's gonna be lots of us, and it's gonna be great! Saturday night's fort night in Orleans with Jordan, Newf and Derek, good times!

I am a contradiction, in every sense.
Glamour/Domesticity
Materialism/Spirituality
Reverence/Iconoclasm
Hot/Cold
Theatre/Truth.
I'm on a journey. Life is there to be lived. I want it all: truth, beauty and freedom. I want to intrigue and be intrigued. On the obvious side I am randy and experimental. A spark. People fascinate me. People who live on the edge because they chose to live their life like that or because life chose them to be lived like that. Differentness or super-stereotypes please me as I'm a devotee of pop culture. Gorgeous things thrill me, so I pursue all things of beauty. Whether it be places, objects, people or moments.

mo fucka sucka dick.

now you're doing the waltz with your murderer.

Once love struck, now plainly dumb struck.

Beating a broken fist against stars burning brightly in a midnight sky far away. Baffled by humanity, obscure tears crease fair-skinned cheeks.
The why's, the who's offer a fully drawn kick to mingled thoughts of past failures, digging their way out from under graves of what seems to be lifetimes past and long forgotten.
Walking barefoot for miles in place, fleshy souls crack and bleed without comfort for the journey that seems to come to no end.

Once fallen for, now simply falling down; stumbling over self-taught untruths.

Confusion finds its place among facts of whimsy, as words no longer hold meaning in reference to the actions previously transpired upon this dancefloor of a heart.
A gluttoneous mastication of lies forcibly fed by empty blue-eyed bombshells, served on tarnished trays of gold.
Ghastly faces beg the caress of its mangled hand, beg to be clawed at by its unkept nails.

Once wholehearted, now pathetically half-truthed.

False are these promises made upon a forged seal, noted by a bribed official.
No words ring clearer than your own.
No truths are more painfully broken than those spoken by a bleeding heart...

Emotions are elastic.

"I'll take 'The Rapist' for $200."
"That's 'Therapist', Mr. Connery."
"Ah, HA, HA! Suck it, Trebek!"

Tee hee hee!

drag the lake
you'll find it's full of love

It's funny how more than anything else in this world, people suffer from loneliness. And yet, we have more ways then ever to connect with others and meet new people. People don't fill gaps. Neither do drugs, drinks, a girl or a boy. Sorry peoples that's just the way it goes.

Hahaha... As seen on a profile site:

"heyo my name is anthony..i like long walks on the beach...actually i wish you all would die and burn in hell.."

If I were a month, I'd be: June
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Saturday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 5 p.m.
If I were a planet, I'd be: Earth
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: a Manta Ray
If I were a direction, I'd be: South
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: a Bed
If I were a sin, I'd be: Lust
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Elvis
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Water
If I were a tree, I'd be: a Palm Tree
If I were a bird, I'd be: a Hummingbird
If I were a tool, I'd be: Stud Finder, hahaha!
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: an Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Hot, Hazy and Humid
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: the Loch Ness Monster
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: a Piano
If I were an animal, I'd be: a Butterfly
If I were a color, I'd be: Gold
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Uncertainty
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: a Cucumber
If I were a sound, I'd be: Laughter
If I were an element, I'd be: Water
If I were a car, I'd be: a Stretch Limo
If I were a song, I'd be: Grieg - Peer Gynt Suite
If I were a movie, I'd be: Boondock Saints
If I were a book, I'd be: Written On The Body
If I were a food, I'd be: Chocolate
If I were a place, I'd be: the Beach
If I were a material, I'd be: Satin
If I were a taste, I'd be: Sweet
If I were a scent, I'd be: Lily of the Valley
If I were a religion, I'd be: Agnostism
If I were a word, I'd be: Scandelous
If I were an object, I'd be: a Telephone
If I were a body part, I'd be: the Eyes
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: a Toothy Grin
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: English
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: Smurfette
If I were a shape, I'd be a: Star
If I were a number, I'd be: 3

Taken a blogging break because nothing exciting has happened. My long weekend was pretty stanky. I went over to Jon's and he was miserable and cranky because he hadn't been feeling well since the concert. We went shopping downtown and watched a bit of Caribana from the car. Saturday night we came to my place for dinner and then back to his house. Sunday I convinced him to go to E.R. and it turns out he has toncillitis (sp?). After trying to blame everyone that he could possibly blame and developing every symptom you could possibly develop, he has turned into the biggest suck. Get a man ill and he loses all masculinity. I brought him to my place on Sunday to tend to him, and for those who know me, I'm no Florence Nightingale. I am ready to slaughter him. My patience for high-drama is wearing thin. To watch him, one would think that he is on his deathbed.

And to coincide with my frustration with Jon, Joey called. *Insert omnious music here*. I spent my weekend deconstructing my relationship with Joey. My conclusion is that I know that the perfect guy doesn't exist, but physically Joey is my perfect guy. Open his gorgeous mouth, and the illusion of perfection is shattered. The thing that bothers me the most is his lack of ambition or direction. But you've all heard me gush, he's so so so gorgeous. I think I'm just shocked that he's interested, that he asked for my number, that he thinks I'm gorgeous, because I just feel that he's so out of my league. He's stunning, movie star good looking, and he likes me. It's like the person that you see in the bar that you don't even bother try for because you obviously don't stand a chance, but then... Wow.

I have spent the past three hours munching on chocolate covered ladies fingers and surfing the net. I have a great job! Now for a SARS-stock report though, cuz I'm sure people such as Chris are horrified that after such a monumental event, all I could talk about was my boyfriend.

Sunburn: After approximately 17 hours outdoors, most of the time being in the scorching merciless sun, the only place I have a sunburn is my left armpit and my right ankle. Why, oh why?!
Who: Went with the aforementioned boyfriend and about ten other people. Jon is now referring to his friends as "our" friends. Mainly guys, but a few of them were awesome.
When: We got there at about 11am and returned back to Jon's house at 3am the next day.
Atmosphere: Wow! Absolutely amazing. It just feels awesome to be a part of something so huge. Everyone there knew that it was something that you would always remember.
Position: We spent most of the morning fairly far back and off to the side just watching a screen. We could lay down and there was a bit more room. Wasn't the concert experience for me though, so I dragged Jon down front with me. We were about the tenth row of people from the stage and we stayed there for Guess Who, Rush and AC/DC. It was incredibly rough though, so we spent 45 minutes backing up a bit and were a bit further back for the Stones.
Bands: Morning set was pretty bad. I've seen Sass Jordan live in concert! Haha! Highlights were Sam Roberts who sounded really good live and The Tea Party, who are always solid. The sets were short though, only about three songs each. The afternoon improved. Justin Timberlake was horrible live, but I've got a bit of a crush on him. And it was entertaining to see him pelted by water bottles. I admire him for doing the show for free, and as he said, he's there for the same reason as everyone else. Not the taste of the majority of the audience though. The Guess Who were great, really appealed to the older crowd (and to Chris!). Rush I found sort of boring, I always thought all of their songs are quite similar. Surprise for me was AC/DC. They totally rocked out and got the crowd going. Who could resist 'Highway to Hell' or 'Dirty Deeds'? Way better than expected, and the highlight of the day. And The Stones. The classic. As good as ever, Mick Jagger cannot stand still at the age of 60. Keith did two songs as lead vocals, which weren't as exciting but good nontheless. JT came on to do 'Miss You' with Mick, which is my favorite song. He did not massacre it, I enjoyed it, very high energy. The Stones will never die!
Leaving: Great night down to the end. We started heading out and as we were leaving there was a fireworks show. It didn't take as long as expected to leave the park, although the walk home was deadly (an hour an a hlf, carrying a huge heavy backpack with Jon going "I think it's the next light!" every two seconds).
Chris Esposito: Yes, a special section for my lover. Chances were one in a half million that I'd see Chris, and I saw him twice during the day. Totally in his element!

Overall, a great time. Jon and I had a ton of fun, and it would have been great even just to watch all of the topless sweaty boys (mmm, this includes you, Chris!). Very memorable day, everyone that didn't go really missed out!