Today was a high of 13 degrees and I, of course, got carried away with a tiny t-shirt and nearly broke out the flipflops. So, now my tiny t-shirt is covered with Josh's huge hoodie, because it's DARN cold! I spent the whole day with Josh, he came over in the morning and we went shopping downtown, Queen Street and the Eaton Centre. By the end of it, I was falling asleep so we went over to his place to crash for the night. Last night I crashed at Kinley's for the evening, to catch up with him and Sten. I always lose touch with people. Tomorrow (or more accurately, today) I'm heading up North to my grandmother's place. I'm dreading it, she's a little bit loopy and it's never much fun. That and her boyfriend (companion more accurately, but he's been a grandfather to me for the past five or so years) is wasting away of cancer in the hospital and I'll have to visit him. Not that I don't like him, I just hate to see people sick. I have a hard time dealing with it because I'd rather only have happy memories. I'd like to remember people when they were happy and healthy. Not always possible, I know, but I'm content avoiding reality.

Well, not the best of days. I heard that it was great weather, I wouldn't know because I was holed up in the Bay all day, by myself! It was dead since everyone was watching hockey. (Canada rocked!!!) I have U2's "Bloody Sunday" in my head... Don't know what's up for tonight, Josh is working so I'll probably just go out with someone. I really can't think of anything to say so I'll close this before I bore you all.

"In the midst of this confusion, close your eyes and cover your ears. From now on, your heart will be your guide to a brighter tomorrow, and the fulfilled dreams of forever..."

Ugh... I woke up at 8 because I thought I had to work at 10 but then I realized that I was dyslexic and the Saturday that I was supposed to work is next week, not this week. So, I had a love affair with my snooze button for two hours (it was a late night), until Josh called to talk for a while. I haven't seen him much lately, I miss him. Yesterday I spent the day with Mads. He picked me up at noon and we went down to the car show, then to the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum), followed by dinner at The Outback and a movie. Had a ton of fun, the best was probably when I picked up a paper at a Chinese newspaper stand and it turns out the paper said "Free, please take one" for the newspapers. Oh well, they should have subtitles. Haha! I don't know what I'm doing today, but I really really want to see Josh at night... I'm thinking of becoming religious. No, seriously. It does a lot of people a lot of good. Even if it's not "real", the basic values of the church should be applied to life whether or not you believe in a God. I'm not saying that I'm becoming a nun (that wouldn't last very long!), but I think I'll start reading up on some things.

"Everything is nothing without him."

Guess what? No, I was not arrested for stalking that guy, (although he did tell me that my shirt was sexy! *huge grin*) guess again. That's right! Jenna now has a full-time job!!! Whoo hoo! I went for my second interview in Richmond Hill today. Needless to say, the interviewer was madly impressed with my line dancing and hired me. I'll be getting lots of hours, benefits, good pay, not to mention the cute guys working there. Sounds like a really good job. At least that's out of the way now, I'll be starting in the middle of March. I got home a bit ago and was going to change into jeans but I decided to skip that step and went straight to pyjamas.

"We'll live forever under the light of the moon, the stars, and all things bright..."

Got back a little bit ago from dinner with Mads and Linz at Baldwin's (schmanzy restaurant in Aurora). Linz was kinda pissy at first but I think we managed to cheer her up. Food was really good, I had to keep sneaking chicken onto Linz's plate where she'd bury it in salad to prevent the waiter from seeing it. (There was a 5$ charge for sharing entrees that we were trying to avoid.) We had fun, I always have fun with Mads, he's just un-pretentious somehow. (Was that a real word?) (Why do I keep using so many brackets this entry?) (Anyways...) I have my second interview for the job that I keep talking about tomorrow. I work 9 to 5:30 and my interview's at 2. This should be interesting. I'm teaching my interviewer how to line dance. No lie. So wish me luck and I'm going to be REALLY tired tomorrow.

Spent the WHOLE day at work. I figured my sexy guy would be in so I put on an amazing pair of pants and whenever I saw him I made sure I was walking the other way so he could see my fantastic rump. He looked so damn good. Haha, I'm turning into a headcase. I'm the nut John, not you! I'm pretty tired right about now, but I think I'm going out for dinner with Mads (see a couple of entries past). I'm keep forgetting to borrow The Sims from Linz to burn it... Remind me of that next time I see her! I better not go to an unemployment agency in these pants, I could start some trouble! Anyways, I'm too tired to write anything sensible.

"No, I'll lay half-empty, half-finished, half-written to my end. I'll leave the lights on, just in case you want to be found again. To the dead-I wrote you countless letters dear, only some I sent. How easy it was for silence to say some of the loudest things... to speak so effortlessly, the words and syllables that can crush in an instant. To our end- to the dear departed, are you my last chance... or the first chapter in the greatest fable ever told.." -Converge

I am such a minor.

Ok, I just told her and it was such an anti-climax because she doesn't know them anyways.

You know what I love? Guys with blue turtlenecks and gray pants... Mmm... I'm getting like obsessive, hahaha! I'll tell you who it is the next time I see you Linz! The hints so far: Starts with a J. Saw him at work. Wears turtlenecks. Starts with a Ja. Is not Jeremiah or Jared. Tell you next time I see you! For some reason, Linz is getting hyper over a date she's supposed to have tonight. She keeps asking if I think she has a fear of commitment, like uh no dear you haven't even gone out on one date with the boy, I don't think commitment is the issue here! Hahaha!

"We must always fear the wicked. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men." -Monseigneur, Boondock Saints

Whenever my confidence is getting low, I'm going to go to an unemployment agency. I'm like the goddess there. Unemployed guys just love me. I'm a sex-magnet. Ugh, so I'm still looking for a full-time job to add on to my part-time job at the Bay. I actually got a job today... For half an hour. I went to the Y and some lady sent out my resume to a call center. By the time I got back home, they had already called and asked me to come and fill in an application at start at 5:15. I thought that was kinda weird, but it paid really well so I figured I'd at least go and check it out. Got all gorgeous in my interview clothes and headed out. I was greeted by a 50 year old woman with her tongue pierced who asked me to fill out employee papers. While I filled them out, she told me that they were selling medical insurance to people in the States and that it was a base rate per hour plus commission. Sounded pretty good so I went to one of the girls and listened to her call some people. She called about 60 people in the half hour I was there, and every single one hung up on her. She was just getting more and more pissed off, apparently she hates the job and they hire 40 to 50 people per week and about one per week stays. The guy that came in with me left within ten minutes. After flirting with the guy across from me, (he had a cute smile, so sue me, it's not my fault I attract the unemployed AND the guys with horrible jobs) I walked out. What a waste of time. Umm, had fun last night with Linz, trying to find a coffee place that's open at midnight. Today I went to the Y in the morning then dropped in to surprise Josh and since I'm the genius that books really early morning appointments, I fell asleep on him. Woke up and went to Linz's to watch a movie then went to my new job and I think I'm staying home for the night, I'm a menace to society and to myself.

No, no, I didn't see him today. Kind of disappointing. Another busy day at the Bay, it's been so hectic in there this weekend that I've had to buy a purse everyday to unwind. Some people swallow Ritalin, I buy purses. My prom date from last year came in to visit me which was a great surprise, I can't even begin to describe what a great guy Mads is. Terrific friend, very intelligent and fun. I haven't seen him at all since he's in University this year but I think we'll get together sometime this week. Gave Josh a scolding when he came to visit me today, but not too much because he had had the silver I.D. bracelet that he'd gotten me for Valentine's engraved. Hard to remain angry when he's bearing gifts. But still angry nontheless. I'm doing something with Linz tonight, not sure what but I promised. I've been driving around all day with my gas tank on empty, I'm surprised it still runs. Must be the fumes. Could somebody please give me an opinion on what I should do about the guy from previous posts? I do have a crush, I do have a feeling it's mutual but there's a dozen reasons off of the top of my head why it wouldn't work. When he invited me to go away with him earlier this year, I should have gone. Humph. *Insert mad breakdancing here.*

Okay, just because I mentioned that guy in my last post, I have seen him everyday for the past three days. Kind of weird when before this I hadn't seen him in over a month. So, now I go through a daily mini heart attack whenever I see him and try to avoid tripping or doing something totally lame. I'm only a klutz when a hot guy is watching, I swear. Dear, I sound like a giggling schoolgirl. Should I just give up and go for it? Josh got in a fight last night, *sigh*. I'm sorry but I need a man, not a boy. Not impressed with him at all lately. I want to go out and do something but I'm too tired... Probably just spend the night in and read and play poker.

"I'm a hero, like Robert de Niro."

I had a good day. Good music, good weather, good conversation. Unfortunately my Valentine's date was one of my coworkers, I spent the day holed up in the Bay. Followed by a dose of Temptation Island, I don't know how I'll live without the show. What surprised me though, is the bickering couple, Tommy and Nicole ultimately ended up staying together. I assumed they were doomed, they couldn't talk without argueing. The guy hooked up with every girl on the island while the girl found her perfect guy. They broke up at the final bonfire but got back together. Kinda made me think. As Tommy said to her "I just don't think we bring out the best in each other". Interesting, interesting. Speaking of, why do we always want what we can't, or more accurately shouldn't, have? I ran into someone that I haven't seen for a while. He's a great guy and it's one of those things where although we're friends, I get nervous around him because there's this... I don't know how to describe it... this buzz of expectations and hopes and possibilities and anticipation around us. But for a bunch of reasons, it should not happen, and we both know it and I think that only builds the sensation. Either way, he made me smile, gave me butterflies, and made my day that much better. I'm still miffed at Josh, maybe that has something to do with it. Good job hunting news, I have a second interview for the place in Richmond Hill and they did a reference check. My boss is a lovely woman, she's been through a lot and after working with her for two years I have come to deeply respect her. Although some would say she's eccentric, she's just a very lonely woman and considers her employees second family. She gave me an amazing reference today, just like she did for the last job I got. Things are looking up. I had a moment in my car driving home. Pitch black outside, I'm exhausted, a chill in the air. Speeding down one of the roads, no traffic. Had my dance mix of House of Pain pounding and it was so... everything.

"I'm a rainbow with you."

Had an interview today two towns over (yah quite the journey), and after a reference check I think I'll get the job. Not sure if I'm going to take it or not though, it has a couple of kinks, including the two towns over thing. Josh said that he'd like to come and keep me company so I picked him up at his friends place this morning. He was acting kinda funny and looked pale, then started sweating. I kept asking him if he was alright and he insisted he was fine. Turns out he got blitzed last night and was majorly hung over so I had to pull over and let him puke. Now pardon me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't he NOT drink at all if going in the car for an hour with me the next morning?! Not only that, why would he not tell me so that I don't drag him along and risk puke in my car?! And I couldn't even turn around because I had my interview. Ugh! Went to Aurora to see my dear friend Kristen last night, I barely see her since she's in College, not to mention her boyfriend. We had some fun... Get this, a friend of a friend of a friend of hers burnt down his kitchen somehow with an industrial-sized deep fryer he had had put in there. I don't know either man. I invested in a black transparent thong with black and silver feathers on it today, you never know what might come up, hahaha! Well I'm zonked so I think I'll doze for a bit before I have to go to work. "The sun fell down again last night."

I've loved rock and roll since I first saw it raining, and it has been raining for a long, long time. If you see Romeo, tell him that I love him.

I believe in silly things. I believe that art is revolution. I believe in love. Music. Yet I don't believe in starry skies and I'm having trouble believing in you.

I'm addicted to the Olympics but I have to cheer on the person with the most obscure name. I'm not quite getting it, Jamaica has a bobsled team yet Canada is placing like 35th in skiing. It's shameful! One medal to date, and this is the land of snow up North where the huskies go... Sheesh! Even I could do better than these people. Um, what's up with me... Was babysitting all day yesterday, baby was an angel and it's a damn easy way to make 100$. Today Joshy came over in the afternoon, kid doesn't know how to play dominos, how is that possible?! I'm trying to convince Dom to take me to the Lion King, he can't back out of his promise! Back to the ongoing saga of the job hunt. On the bright side, I have a couple of interviews coming up so everybody keep your fingers crossed. If all else fails I can just flash the interviewer. I'm never ever ever ever going to date anybody without a driver's license ever again. Shoot me if I even think about it. And no, it's not what you're thinking, that I'm superficial and dependant on a guy. It's just a necessity because although I drive and have a car, I'm not a taxi service and it is nice to have someone drive me now and then. Plus, at this age, unless I'm going for statutory, most guys SHOULD have their licenses. Grrr. Anyways, I'm off, I'm spring (winter?) cleaning my room, throwing stuff out so it'll be easier when I move in August. Speaking of, anybody want a Native American bead loom? Hahaha!

I got free Play-Doh yesterday at an employment agency, (Yah, I don't know why either), and I think it has made my day. Or week. So status on the job hunt, I still do not have a full-time job, apparently I lack the decades of experience necessary. I keep trying to get Linz to tell people that she does not have office experience, she has sexual experience, hehe. I spent the evening at Josh's, he's really too sweet to me. Cooked me dinner, gave me a massage... *Smile*. Well my plans for today are to laze around all morning, and then I'm going babysitting with Linz for the rest of the day and night. If you could see my hair right now, you'd never have an respect for me. It's got this amazing bedhead-esque quality, that's what I was going for! Oh guess what, apparently there's a porn star out there that looks just like me, according to Ladi. (No, not Jenna Jameson.) What an honour. I'm craving a McDonald's BLT Bagel... Do not give in to the urges Jenna... Resist!...

What is a god of phoney creation?
Where am I going with no destination?
What if the fish came from the sea?
What if my lover made me feel free?
What if my intake caused revelation?
What if the point was reincarnation?
What if my shoes don't match my jacket?
If it's not working, why don't you smack it?
What if yo' Mamma said you were fat?
If you are lost, why don't you find where you're at?
What is a number without any time?
Can you get higher with nothing to climb?
Why have a body if you ain't got a mind?
What is a searcher with nothing to find?
Why is the traffic refusing to stop?
Why climb the ladder if you can't reach the top?
What do you dream of when you sleep at night?
See how the blind man fills up with light?
What is a bird with nowhere to fly?
How can you leave and not say good bye?
What is a hunter with nothing to find?
What is the goodness without the unkind?
When did the outfit fall out of fashion?
When did the lover run out of passion?
Why did the voice say "Don't step on the floor"?
Why did the sign say to float through the door?
How did the loser get to be rich?
What is a salesman with nothing to pitch?
When did the fool get to be king?
Why did you leave when they asked you to sing?
Why lose belief if you've got a dream?
What is a train that ran out of steam?
What is a spy with no one to spy on?
How do you sleep with nothing to lie on?
What if the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree?
What if these questions just won't let you be?
Why waste your time looking for proof?
What if the answer is never the truth?