I enjoy lists. Here is the first part of a mini-series.

Reasons if I were a guy, I would not want to date me

1. I like presents. Often. But there's a line. Lest we call I dumped poor Josh when he gave me a bracelet with 'I Love Thee' engraved on the back for our two month anniversary. Adorable, he knew I loved the movie Romeo + Juliet. I got freaked out, and he got dumped as a gift. I'm a wench.

2. I giggle. Often. And then I can't stop. Often, the situation at hand is not even funny. Lest we recall the time I was at Jon's posh house I laughed until I cried for over half an hour because the golf carts driving around reminded me of that ride that they have for children with the cars driving around a track at Canada's Wonderland. I know it's not funny, I just couldn't stop.

3. You may have to take care of me on those rare occasions that I am over-intoxicated. Jon watched me hit on Omar on my birthday. Trevor saw me make out with another guy in Hull. Josh had to try and call Lindsay when I kept giving him the wrong number and getting mad at him. Chris had to cuddle with me when I was drunk, depressed, angry, and punching humans and walls. Many examples for this one.

4. I look like hell in the morning. I think anyone can vouch for this. Not only to I look like hell, I am hell. The Grinch. Who in their right mind is cheery when they wake up. I want to punch people who are cheery. For god's sake, just leave me alone in the morning. And never ever ever ever wake me up unless you're wearing protective armour.

5. I take forever to get ready. I blame the curly hair. That means a half hour shower, half hour for doing hair, half hour for clothes and makeup. That's the bare necessities, hour and a half. No, I can not hurry, that's my routine! Do you want me to be ugly?

6. I am demanding as hell. Not necessarily large demands, but the small ones. I want you to talk to me when I feel like talking. You are available when I want you to be. If I am thirsty, you bring me a drink. If I am sore, I get a massage. I mention that I like goldfish, you buy me one. Is that asking so much?

7. I am jealous. I will never admit this to your face. I mentally slag off every girl who even looks at you. For I am clearly superior. Does she TRY to look that ugly? What is wrong with her nose? Well my rack is so much better than hers. And they're REAL!

8. I regress to grade 8 mentality when I'm around my girls. Yes, I girl talk. Yes, Carol and I might discuss your size or your performance. Sketches may be done. Yes, Lindsay and I have our own sort of language developed. Expect it.

9. I'm a 'friendly-drunk'. I strongly believe that I should not have to pay for my drinks if some guy is stupid enough to buy them for me. If that involves flirting, so be it. If you're the jealous type, I apologize in advance. It's a challenge; spend as little as possible. Unfortunately, that means getting friendly with some creeps. I am reminded of 'The Chinch' in his tan, floor-length fur coat. Oh, the horror.

10. I really don't know what I want in a relationship. I pretend I do. When I'm not in a relationship, I want a relationship. Then when I get myself into a relationship type situation, I want to be single. I know I shouldn't want anything serious, since I'm leaving the country in eight months, but I do... I'm jealous of my friends with boyfriends when they're all cuddly and sweet, but I am thankful when I can go out to the bar and make out with a random stranger.

11. I am a hormonal mood-swinging basketcase during my time of the month. One day I'll be all cuddly, and the next if you even try to touch me, I'll rip your face off. I want my back massaged when I have cramps. I use my time of the month as an excuse to be a bitch for one week straight.

To be continued... Oh trust me, there's many more!