Today I was watching the news and they are like showing us were exactly our troops are and what their next move is. I think to myself, like what the fuck? Iraq doesn't have CNN? So you say "Yeah, these fighters are moving here now..." and then I think, Iraq is watching this to see where to move their troops. So, we should totally lie! So like, Tom Brokaw has his map and like says "The 21st tank brigade is moving towards (insert some inpronounciable town) from the South East, while Skelator and his Legion of the Undead sweep from the north. The Angels of Sovereignty are sweeping in from the West, where they plan to meet the Legion of Hellnights coming from the East. They plan to meet in Baghdad to fight their final battle of Light and Dark. John Wayne and The Hulk have constructed a well needed motorcycle Batallion of a 1000 or more and have started across Turkey to meet up with troops from the 86th Batallion of the Undead. And this just in, apparently Allah has contacted the American Government... And, yes, I believe the word from the heads is he has left Iraq; he has decided to join sides with God. Yes. Apparently, both Allah and God are now on our side. Along with the countless ground support, our soldiers are backed up by the fleets in both the Mediterranean and the Gulf, they are The Rooselvelt, along with the Kitty Hawk, which are both carriers. They are ready to send out Captain Crunch's S.S. Crunchalot if closer ranged munitions are needed. It also appears that air support is covered in the most part by an independent militia of goblins. And Im just getting this... The Secretary of State has just informed me that the Deceptacons have indeed decided to fight alongside America regardless of their current war against the Huns. God and Allah speed, until further update, this is Tom Brokaw."